Mom was getting so frustrated with her two small children at bath time. They were always making a mess and splashing so much water out of the bathtub that she'd spend as much time cleaning up as she did bathing her kids. She was going to bed exhausted and drained.

After learning how to Set Loving Limits she decided to experiment.

The next night as her two young ones got into the tub she let them know they could play as long as they didn't splash so much that water got out of the tub. Then she waited. She didn't tell them what what going to happen, she just let them know there was a limit.

Well, sure enough, about 10 minutes later all their horsing around was leading to some serious water outside the tub. Mom and Dad (Mom had enlisted Dad's support and he was happy to assist!) each grabbed a kid and pulled them out of the water and into a towel. Mom patiently and calmly said: "This is so sad. We let kids play in the bath who don't create a big mess outside the tub." They quickly whisked the kids to their rooms where they explained that they didn't have time to read books that night since they had to go clean up the bathroom mess. They helped them get dressed and put them to bed with a kiss.

Were the kids happy? Did they complain and beg for more tub time and books? Absolutely. However, Mom and Dad remembered not to lecture or give in, they used EMPATHY over and over. "Yes, I know how you love bath time. It is sad. Maybe tomorrow night." "I know...." "I know..." "And what did I say?"

The next night as the kids climbed into the tub Mom and Dad had to hold back their giggles as the kids splashed more lightly than they ever had before. Yeah! Progress!

It did go better but every now and then there was too much splashing. Mom and Dad always calmly went back to their loving limit. The differernce was that the kids didn't complain any more since they knew it was their poor behavior that caused them to lose a privilege, not Mom and Dad being "mean".

When a teenage daughter was getting ready to go off to the football game one Friday evening she was dressed in the typical fashion of a 15 year old -- tank top, short-shorts, flip flops. As her friend's parents came to pick her up she yelled "Bye mom and dad!" as she ran out the door.

About an hour later the parents had settled in to watching a DVD and relaxing at home. Their phone rang. "Mom, I am freezing! I need you to bring me my jacket. It's getting colder and there's still the second half to go."

Her mom had just started a Parenting the Love and Logic Way® class and decided to "experiment" with empathy and celebrating a poor decision. Mom said in her most empathetic voice, "Oh, that is such a bummer. It is really cold tonight. I'm so sorry but your dad and I are busy."

Her daughter couldn't believe what she was hearing. Her mom ALWAYS dropped everything and ran to her rescue. "But mom, I'm so cold! I really need a sweater." Her daughter complained. Mom kept firm in her desire to complete her experiment. "I know." She said with EMPATHY again. She did feel bad for her daughter and she could start lecturing her about how she should have taken her sweater, but she refrained from her old habits. Mom calmly said, "I'm sure you'll think of something and the game won't be but another hour. I'll look forward to seeing you when you get home. We can have hot chocolate when you get here." With that her daughter huffed and hung up the phone.

Later that evening, her daughter got home. Mom skipped lecturing and just let her daughter's poor choice settle in. It wasn't mom's problem to fix or think about.

The next Friday came and another football game was up. Mom was to drive the carpool this time. As they went to go get in the car mom noticed her daughter had a sweater in her hand.

Yes! Mom celebrated! Her experiment worked! Not nagging, not rescuing and not lecturing worked and her empathetic attitude allowed all of the learning to take place.

Congrats Mom!