Helping Parents Raise Responsible, Self-Confident Children
Facebook/eMail/YouTube →
  • Home
  • PODCAST
  • BLOG
  • LECTURES / COACHING
    • LECTURES
    • COACHING
  • PARENT RESOURCES
    • Counselors in Bay Area
  • TESTIMONIALS
  • Contact Me / Newsletter Signup / Bio
    • Mary's Bio

Brain Dead …

1/28/2014

0 Comments

 
 
The “contributions list” is posted and Mom was a little tired of waiting for the kids to do their chores so she just said: “We’ll have dinner when the chores are done.”

One son said, “Yeah, well then I guess we won’t be eating for a while!”
She said, “Whatever” and sat down to read her email. She just kept calm, didn’t engage in the conversation.

They did eat but about 45 minutes later than planned.
Now the kids know that when she sets a limit there’s no arguing about it.


Yes!
0 Comments

Sassy Children at Dinner …

1/28/2014

0 Comments

 
 
Mom was getting very frustrated trying to serve dinner to her children who were being a bit rude and unruly. She finally decided to try a new tact after learning some Love and Logic® techniques:

“I only serve dinner to kids with friendly voices.” Then she walked away.

Her daughter followed her away from the table saying things like:

“What’s with the new attitude? Who are you? Did you go to your class today and just learn that?”

The mom threw her head back and laughed. She knew she was on to something! She also really enjoyed laughing instead of yelling. ;-)
0 Comments

Kids Forgetting Stuff …

1/28/2014

0 Comments

 
 
A 10 year old boy who loves hockey was just getting his gear out of his bag for a practice and noticed that his skates were missing. Yes, his SKATES. Not good. “Dad, Mom, we gotta go back home! My skates are at home!”, he said. “Oh nooooo that is so sad… you forgot your skates. Our house is 30 minutes away. We’re not driving there and back for your skates today. What are you going to do about it?” they replied calmly.

“I don’t know. I can’t practice without my skates! The coach is going to be so mad. Why can’t we go back and get them??!!”

“As we told you, we don’t have the time or the energy to go back home. What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know.” He sulks…
“Would you like some suggestions?” they said.
“What? Hmm… ok…”
“Well, some kids might decide to sit on the bench and just watch practice. How would that work for you?”
“That’s no good. Coach won’t like me sitting doing nothing.”
“Well, some kids might take some money and buy a new pair of skates from the skate stop here at the rink. How would that work for you?”
“Hmm… well, I do have some money from my birthday that I could use. I’ll do that!”
So a new pair of skates was purchased using the boy’s own money.

These two parents used their new problem solving skills to perfection. They gave empathy first, handed the problem back to their child and then asked if he wanted suggestions. They only gave suggestions AFTER he agree to listen to some from them. They did NOT nag, remind or berate him for the situation that he had created for himself. The NATURAL consequences of his poor decision of not packing his gear more carefully in the first place was the consequence he needed.
0 Comments

"I don't like that teacher"…

1/28/2014

0 Comments

 
 A high school boy came home day after day saying how much he didn't like his teacher. He felt that the teacher picked on him and always noticed the things he was doing wrong even though his grade was fine. Moreover, the boy started not wanting to do his work for this teacher he was so frustrated. 

Mom, having learned some new techniques, decided to hand the problem back to her son. She knew that in the past she might try to take sides and even talk to the teacher to see what the problem was. Instead, she tried this:
  1. Empathy: "Wow… it must feel like a drag to have to go to that class each day when you feel your teacher doesn't like you."
  2. Hand the problem back: "What are you going to do about it?"   Her son told her he didn't care.  Nothing could be done. 
  3. Ask permission: "Well, would you like some ideas about what SOME kids might do about it?"  Her son said yes, ok, fine, if you want mom…
  4. Give a few ideas: "How about you bring him donuts some morning? How would that work?" No, mom, he's not worth it.  "How about you go in during tutorial and check your last test and see if you can talk to him? How would that work?" Mom, I don't care about my grade in that class!  "How about you challenge yourself to have a conversation with him to see if you can win him over? Just a mental challenge, nothing more? Would that work?"  Her son thought about that one… he liked challenges.
  5. Give them support: "Good luck with the teacher. Let me know if you need any more suggestions. I'm sure you'll be able to work something out."

A week later her son came back. He said he did go talk to the teacher during the tutorial period and just chatted about sports. It turned out it was one of the teacher's favorite topics. He was amazed at how after that one conversation the teacher no longer picked on him, didn't notice if he put his head down on his desk during videos or much of anything. He had a smile on his face. He beat the challenge and proved that just by making a connection with someone it could make a huge difference in his life. 

Yeah! 
Huge life lesson learned!

0 Comments

Napping Struggles

1/18/2014

0 Comments

 
 
A mom just used “brain dead” when her little one would not nap. Rocked him and said “I know…I know…I love you…I know..”

They both calmed right down and he feel asleep in her arms.

It’s important to keep in mind that when are children are fussy and throwing a fit to not take it personally. This mom did an awesome job of keeping herself calm, repeating the same phrase over and over instead of letting the frustration overtake her.

Yeah!
0 Comments

    Categories

    All
    Affordable Mistakes
    Brain Dead
    Choices
    Elementary Years
    Empathy
    Energy Drain
    One Liners
    Podcast
    Preschoolers
    Problem Solving
    Screen Time
    Setting Limits
    Sibling Rivalry
    Teens & 'Tweens
    Training Sessions
    Uh Oh Song

    Archives

    December 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    June 2022
    April 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    February 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    September 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    March 2014
    January 2014

Mary Eschen, ACC - Parenting Podcaster and Educator
Independent Facilitator of Parenting
​the Love and Logic Way
®​

​Website by
TegneLink Design