Mom and Dad were on a very long drive from Silicon Valley to Seattle for Spring Break. Their two kids were in the back of the car, freshman and middle schooler, fussing and arguing after many hours in the car. Mom was driving. Dad, having just learned new L&L skills, told his wife to pull off the freeway at the next exit. She didn't quite understand why but knew her husband really wanted her to pull off which she proceeded to do.

They pulled into the parking lot of a 7-11. He said, "I can tell mom is really having an Energy Drain with all the fussing and fighting you two are doing. I really think she needs an ice cream to be able to keep driving. I'll be right back." He went in and bought ONE ice cream, just for mom.

Mom enjoyed it immensely. The kids looked on enviously but knew not to beg for one. She then proceeded to drive to Seattle. The rest of the drive went on with no fussing and fighting.

I loved hearing this story since it reminded me that all it takes is pulling off a Training Session like this just ONCE and you can reap the benefits for a long time. This might not have been planned ahead of time but the way the Dad seized the opportunity was awesome.

Dad and Mom are also still giggling to themselves about how effective this was.

Yum!

A mom recently went out of her way to spend a special day with her 10 year old daughter. They first went shopping for some new athletic shoes and where having such a good time they went on to find a top and some other clothes. To top off this amazing afternoon mom decided they'd go for some ice cream. All was well and good... until... ungratefulness set in. 

Her daughter started whining and complaining about things which turned into a major melt down. Ack! The mom thought. What happened to our fun afternoon? It's a disaster!
Well, having learned Love and Logic® techniques, she decided to set an enforceable limit. "I take kids shopping and have a nice afternoon with them when they are respectful and appreciate our time together." Then she proceeded to go back to the store and return all of the items. Yep. RETURNED them. 

What happened to the daughter during this? Yep. Nuclear meltdown. However, mom stayed "brain dead" and didn't argue or take offense. 

After the returns the whole family had dinner and mom packed her daughter off to bed early.The next morning her daughter woke up bright and cheery. Wow! Amazing! 

Her daughter got to learn the natural consequence of her poor decision to misbehave and be ungrateful. 

I have to admit it takes a lot of courage sometimes for a parent to put down their foot and refuse to accept "poor behavior". Hats off to this mom for doing just that!

I have a feeling her daughter will behave differently when mom takes her out the next time. Don't you?

Dad had just finished dropping off his 11 year old at school and was on his way to work. His cell phone rang. He could hear the panic in his son's voice as he answered the call on his blue tooth phone connection. "Dad! I forgot my science project! It's due today! You have to bring it to me!"

Dad calmly and empathetically replied, "Oh dear, son, that's such a bummer. I know you were working hard on that last night. I'm on my way to work right now. " 

"Dad, please, you GOTTA help me out! I really need it!" his son pressed on.

"Hmmm... this is going to cost me a lot of time but it seems important."

Dad then looked at the clock in his car, turned around and went home to get the forgotten project. He then drove to school and looked at the clock again as he handed his son the assignment. 20 minutes, he noted.

He said, "Here you go. Have a nice day!" No lecturing, no reminding how thoughtless he'd been or anything. Just a nice, sweet farewell with a smile.

Dad then had a pleasant day at work. 

A few days later it was Saturday. Dad had delayed the consequence perfectly. He said to his son, "Son, remember how I brought you that assignment this week?" "Yep." "Well, that took 20 minutes out of my schedule and I'd like you to pay back the energy that was drained. I really need my car washed inside and out. That will take at least that."

His son went ahead and cleaned the car. It seemed like an even deal in his mind. 

Why no fuss from his son? Because Dad had stopped lecturing and let his son's poor decision do the work. The Energy Drain and Delayed Consequences worked in everyone's favor.

Awesome job, Dad!