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​I highly recommend that you use my expanded approach to tantrums that covers all the way from toddler through teenage years: CALM DOWN TIME. 

​Please listen to: 
Parenting Decoded podcast #6: Tantrums and Calm Down TIme 
​
Or Read: my blog transcript of that podcast 
HERE. 


With that in mind,  here's more info on the classic, Uh Oh Song. 

The "Uh-oh" Song is a Powerful technique set up by Love and Logic® Institute for setting limits with young children, typically from 18 months to 5 or 6 years depending on the maturity of the child. When children misbehave, parents need something they can do to respond, and the more consistent they are in their response, the faster it ingrains itself in the child. The "Uh-oh" was created to give parents one catchall response to all attacks on their peace and allows them to respond without anger or threats. Its tone should be devoid of any sarcasm or impatience and almost sung when used to keep any negative emotions out of it. It doesn't take long for even a toddler to get the message that when the "Uh-oh" Song is sung, WHATEVER behavior has just happened was not one Mommy or Daddy approved of and that loving intervention is on it's way.   It is usually used in situations of great defiance or total meltdown in response to a situation but can be applied to more minor issues if the parent so chooses.

Steps for the "Uh Oh song" (from pages 74-75 in Love and Logic
® Magic for Early Childhood ~ Practical Parenting from Birth to Six Years®


Here's a video from Charles Fey at Love and Logic® that will help go over the steps:
UH OH SONG

What’s the Difference Between the UH OH SONG and a TIME OUT?
  1. The GOAL for Uh Oh Song is for a child to learn how to calm down, self soothe and get back on track while learning that a certain behavior is unacceptable.  Time Out is usually just used to stop a behavior in the moment. 
  2. The TONE is different.  The Uh Oh “singing” keeps us from sounding angry while the Time Out parent is often frustrated, angry and yelling which gives control to the child and make the issue be the parent’s problem, not their poor behavior.
  3. WHO chooses CONDITIONS changes.  Uh Oh allows a parent to choose the location but the child gets to choose open/shut and locked/unlocked which allows some shared control.  The parent determines the amount of time it takes for child to return, not a set amount of time like Time Out.  With a fixed time based on age, a Time Out might not allow enough time for a child to calm down or it might be more time than is needed.
  4. Uh Oh Song allows there to be toys, books, etc. to help RELAX the child in their own way and time.  Time Out has everything removed and feels more like a punishment where the child is only directing anger at the parent instead of their poor choice for misbehaving.  If during the Uh Oh Song a child misuses their relaxation items then they can be removed.
  5. NO EXPLAINING is necessary after an Uh Oh Song; they’ve already had time to think about their behavior.  You greet them with love.  The Time Out often comes with a lecture.


Mary Eschen, ACC - Parenting Podcaster and Educator
Independent Facilitator of Parenting
​the Love and Logic Way
®​

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