Helping Parents Raise Responsible, Self-Confident Children
Facebook/eMail/YouTube →
  • Home
  • PODCAST
  • BLOG
  • LECTURES / COACHING
    • LECTURES
    • COACHING
  • PARENT RESOURCES
    • Counselors in Bay Area
  • TESTIMONIALS
  • Contact Me / Newsletter Signup / Bio
    • Mary's Bio

Christmas Lists and Brain Dead

12/2/2016

0 Comments

 
The holiday season certainly brings about a lot of stress and sometimes our kids show a bit too much of the "I wants" for our taste. One parent recently asked me what to do about her elementary school child who constantly asked her what he was getting for Christmas. He'd already given her his "list" (which was quite long!) and he wanted to know which presents he'd be getting. He kept asking... over and over and over, day after day and it wasn't even December yet!

What does she do?


Which response would you have if you were her? 
1- Well, it'll depend on how you are behaving. If you are nice, it'll be more. If you keep up this nagging you won't be getting much.
2- I only give presents to kids who are getting a passing grade in Math.
3- Hmm... no idea...


What do you notice about responses #1 and #2? Do you see how the parent is reacting to the nagging behavior? Will it stop the child from asking again an hour later? Probably not. Most likely, they will want to keep trying to get a read on their Present Thermometer -- your mood!


The proper way to respond is simply to NOT respond, use BRAIN DEAD! There's no need to say anything either way. Just go brain dead! Presents are gifts. They should be from the heart and not a result of who nags the most. Explaining that to your child, however, will only lead to them using your words to get back at you so... DON'T. Just say "hmmm" or mumble something really simple and boring like "It's hard not to know." then "I know... " when they try to get in your face about it.


One last comment to those parents who have really persistent kids who still won't stop, use ENERGY DRAIN. Something like "Wow, it really drains my energy when you keep asking me over and over. What can you do to put that energy back in Mommy?". Take a look on my website under "Parent Resources" for an Energy Drain list of ideas if you need them.
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Categories

    All
    Affordable Mistakes
    Brain Dead
    Choices
    Elementary Years
    Empathy
    Energy Drain
    One Liners
    Podcast
    Preschoolers
    Problem Solving
    Screen Time
    Setting Limits
    Sibling Rivalry
    Teens & 'Tweens
    Training Sessions
    Uh Oh Song

    Archives

    March 2023
    December 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    June 2022
    April 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    February 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    September 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    March 2014
    January 2014

Mary Eschen, ACC - Parenting Podcaster and Educator
Independent Facilitator of Parenting
​the Love and Logic Way
®​

​Website by
TegneLink Design